signed, sealed, delivered…

Dear Martha,

For years, you’ve capitivated me. As a young asian girl whose mother made nasi goreng and krupuk, I yearned for a mom who would have delicious chocolate chip cookies ready to be devoured after school, or to smell the yeasty fragrances of fresh bread early Saturday mornings. The grass is always greener, right? I used to dream of being the asian Martha, the one who had slanted eyes, and used chopsticks more. I think one year I even played with the idea of being you for Halloween. My friends laughed, but I was dead serious.

Martha, whether you realize or not, you are one of the most symbolic images of women today, especially in the media. The epitome of the All American dream. Blonde, successful, overachieving (probably to the point of obsessive compulsive), ex-jail convict (this makes you even more endearing). Like Oprah, you are a virtual staple in the American home.

But that doesn’t mean you haven’t mad mistakes.I’m not talking about that little Enron scandal either, because in my eyes, a little jail time never hurt anyone. In fact, it made you a bigger bad ass. But your reputation lately has been tarnished a bit. Unreliable recipes, weird directinos, and generally speaking, just bad results.

Never fear, Martha. I’m gonna give you a chance though. Your book, Martha Stewart Living: The New Classics is in the mail. This is your time to shine, old gal. Your fans are a a dying breed so you better come through.

Signed, sealed, and will be delivered in 2-3 days.

Ms. Stewart, I’m yours. For now at least.