a single girl’s manifesto

Being single in this day and age is not easy. Don’t believe the Sex and the City hype. It’s not all glitz and glamour, endless nights and fabulous dates. I mean, there are some vodka-fueled laughs, shameless flirting, and nights spent dancing till the wee hours of the morning. But, recently, those happy nights have been few and far between. Days fill up with work, emails, phone calls and nights exist around Mad Men marathons. Forget dinners, my main meals have consisted of coffee, toast, more coffee, fruit, and chocolate. I hate to even admit this, but a certain girl around these parts has been rather l-o-n-el-y. And she is feeling p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c.

What a sad round of Wheel of Fortune my life would be.

In my circle of friends, I am the only one to don the single-and-proud hat. It royally sucks to be the only unattached girl in the gang, and it’s a title I’ve worn for the past couple of years. Normally, I revel in my supposed freedom and secretly smirk after hearing some of my friends and coworkers rants about their relationships. Sure, I listen and give them my full attention, but at the end of the day, I would come home happy to be man-free.

Most recently, my friend A joined my single ranks, to much dismay. Hearing her story and listeing to her ordeal makes me want to rethink the whole marriage-spiel, not to mention hunt down the fucker who has put her through the ringer. My friend A is one of the sweetest, honest, most decent human beings I have ever met, so if she can’t find true love with a man whom she’d known for 10 years, what hope is there for me?! It’s thoughts like these that drive me and my friend A to desparate measures.

What kind of desparate measures?! I’m talking marathon movie nights of the most recent adaptation of Jane Eyre and Pride & Prejudice, buckets and buckets of sangria, and this devil’s food cake. Rich, moist, and utterly decadent, this cake will remind you of the finer things in life. Screw men, I can have chocolate, you’ll say. (If you do say this, make sure you aren’t in a crowded bar with tons of middle-aged men around you. Talk about awkward…)

I grabbed Nick Malgieri’s Perfect Cakes book at the library a month ago, and have bookmarked every recipe. But since I am only one person, and can’t humanly devour cake after cake after cake, I tagged the cakes that would bring me the greatest pleasure. Hence, this 1942 Devil’s Food Cake. I made this cake specifically for A’s birthday party, because I know that the best birthday present a gal can receive, besides champagne, is chocolate cake. And boy, was I dead on!

Thick and yet moist with firm crumb, the cake will render you speechless. It baked perfectly, no weird baking behavior at all. The finished cakes were smooth and easy to layer up. I think that I will use this as my go-to Devil’s Food layer cake because of it’s sturdy texture yet moist interior. It’s not overly chocolatey nor is it too sweet. In fact, I think that this might woo even the most un-chocolatey people. But since me and A are chocoholics, I amped up the cake and used a bittersweet chocolate ganache asa filling.

I matched this cake up with a coffee buttercream frosting, and the coffee flavor balanced the cake’s sweet goodness. But the buttercream was a tad bit finicky with me. It was too soft, in my opinion and I might’ve beaten it too much. Oh well, I just made sure to refrigerate the final product to set the frosting up. The frosting with the layered thick chocolate ganache made for a sensory overload, in the best way possible. How can you go wrong with a big bite of chocolate cake, bittersweet chocolate ganache, and coffee buttercream frosting?

At the end of the day, I think us single gals deserve a round of applause. Dealing with endless looks of pity, having to answer, “No, I’m STILL single”, and batting away advances from the most desperate of men, life can be tough. I’m not saying that all you couple people don’t have your own set of problems- in fact, you probably have a whole plethora of issues just waiting to be discussed, but at least you have each other. Us single gals gotta stick together because at the end of the day, we are all that we got. And when things get a little rocky, the best way to soothe a broken and lonely heart is with massive amounts of chocolate.

1942 Devils Food Layer Cake
adapted from Nick Malgieri’s Perfect Cakes

Ingredients:
3 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 1/3 all-purpose flour (spoon flour into dry measure cup and level off)
¾ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter, cut into 6 pieces
¾ cup boiling water
1 and ½ cups sugar
6 tablespoons sour cream or buttermilk
2 large eggs
2 9-inch round cake pans, buttered and lined with parchment or wax paper

Directions:
Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees.
Melt the chocolate in a large heatproof bowl, set over hot but not simmering water. Let cool.
Stir together the flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl, mixing well.
Add the butter to the chocolate, then pour in the boiling water and stir well to mix. Whisk in the sugar and sour cream. Stir in the flour mixture. Whisk in the eggs.
Pour the batter into the prepared pans and smooth the tops.
Bake for about 35-30 minutes, or until the layers are well risen and firm to the touch; and a toothpick inserted emerges clean. Cool the layers in the pans on racks for 5 minutes, then unmold onto racks to finish cooling.
If you are going to use the layers the day you bake them, wrap in plastic and keep at room temperature. Double-wrap and freeze for longer storage.

Makes 2 9-inch round layers. 

Coffee Buttercream (swiss meringue)

Ingredients:
¾ cup egg whites (from about 5 large eggs)
1 and ½ cups sugar
Pinch of salt
1 pound or 4 sticks unsalted butter, softened
¼ cup cold brewed coffee

Directions:
Half-fill a 1 1/2 -quart saucepan with water, just a ½ inch or so and bring to a boil over medium heat. Lower the heat so the water simmers.
Use a hand whisk to mix together the egg whites, sugar, and salt in the bowl of a heavy duty mixer. Place the bowl over the pan of simmering water and gently whisk until the ingredients are hot (about 130 degrees Fahrenheit) and the sugar is dissolved.
Attach the bowl to the mixer and whip with the whisk attachment on medium speed until the mixture is cooled, about 5 minutes. Touch the sides of the bowl- it should feel cool.
Stop the mixer, remove the whisk, and attach the paddle. Beating at low speed, add te butter in 8 to 10 additions. The buttercream will look very soft and fluffy.
After all the butter has been added, increase the mixer speed to medium and continue to beat until the buttercream is thick and smooth- up to 5 minutes longer. At one point, the buttercream may appear to be separating- this is a normal stoppage on the way to smoothness so just keep beating.
Once the buttercream is firm and smooth, add the coffee a little at a time and continue to beat until smooth.
Use the buttercream immediately or refrigerate.

Rich Ganache

Ingredients:
1 ¼ cups heavy whipping cream
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, cut in to 6 pieces.
1 pound bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, cut in to rough piece.

Directions:
Bring the cream to a simmer in a 2-quart nonreactive saucepan over medium heat. Add the corn syrup and butter and remove the pan from the heat. Immediately add the chocolate and swirl the pan to make sure the chocolate is submerged in the hot liquid. Let stand for 3 minutes.
Using a medium wire whisk, start in the center of the pan and begin whisking slowly in a small circle. As soon as the ingredients in the center of the pan are smooth, begin to whisk slowly outward in an ever-widening arc until the ganache is cool. If a lump or two of unmelted chocolate remains, place the pan over very low heat and whisk gently until all chocolate is melted.
Scrape the ganache into a bowl and over loosely with plastic wrap. Cool the ganache to spreading consistency, either at room temperature or in the fridge. If you refrigerate the ganache, stir and scrape the bowl with a rubber spatula occasionally so the ganache cools evenly.
Use the ganache immediately or refrigerate.
To lighten the ganache: use paddle attachment on a heavy duty mixer and beat the ganache at medium speed for about 30 seconds or until the color lightens. Don’t whip longer or at a higher speed or the ganache will get too aerated and have a dry, crumbly consistency when spread on the finished cake.

Makes enough for filling and frosting of a 9-inch cake.