“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”

How do you define peace? If you were to try and relate what being at peace means to someone who has never felt that emotion, how would you describe it? This is how I define peace.

Peace is driving through my neighborhood streets, watching the sunlight dance through the trees.
Peace is feeling the ocean water rush past my toes. 
Peace is hearing the soft click of my camera as I snap away.
Peace is curling up on my couch, with fuzzy socks on and a big flannel blanket draped around me in the dead of winter. 
Peace is reading a book on weekend mornings, huddled in my bed.
Peace is mixing butter and sugar together, feeling the ingredients cream together.
Peace is melting chocolate, stirring it softly with a wooden spoon.

Have I lulled you in to a peaceful coma yet? Because just writing those descriptions of when I am utter peace made me calm. When I read that phrase, “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself”, I got to thinking. Such a simple phrase but it packs a punch. I mean, how many of us are running around all day, frenetically moving from one place to another without taking notice of our surroundings? We miss so much. If we’d only slow down, close our eyes, and just be. What a weird concept- to just be. 

When people ask me, “Why do you like to bake? What’s this whole baking thing about anyways?” I can only smile and chuckle. They just don’t get it. They aren’t wired like me, obviously. Because anyone who has lost an hour or two while frosting a cake or who has sought solace in kneading bread dough understands what I am talking about. Some people chant, others meditate, and I bake. You understand, right? The focus and concentration when mixing ingredients or decorating cupcakes is literally mind-numbing, and it’s in those moments when I find myself at complete peace.

Peace is not something that comes to me easy, hence the panic attacks and therapy and anxiety attacks. I’m a pretty high maintanence person. But ever since I started baking last year, I find myself drifting in to these calm modes while in the kitchen. Slap on apron on me, hand me a stick of butter, and I am one happy camper.

This past week, my patience has been tested. While driving in my college’s parking structure, some idiot decided it would be a wise decision to back his car in to mine, and then drove off. After trying to chase him down in this 5 level structure, I gave up and surveyed the damage. This hit-and-run accident left a nice little dent in my poor car, which matches the 5 other scrathes and dents I have on my car since apparently my car is public enemy #1. Dealing with police reports and claim adjusters… Well, it’s enough to give you a major headache. All I want to do is sob and sleep. The frustration I feel can’t be put in to words. Luckily, I jotted down the idiot’s license plate #, but suffice to say, I haven’t been in the best of moods.

The only time when my spirits seemed to perk up was when I made this baked chocolate tart from Carole Bloom’s Essential Baker. Simple and decadent, it will render you useless the minute your tongue touches the chocolate. Oh, and the crust. THE CRUST. It’s chock full of buttery goodness. Firm yet moist, it’s not as flaky as Dorie’s sweet tart dough but it is just as good.

I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet- the chocolate. Instead of a chocolate ganache filling, this tart recipe has you bake the filling, giving the chocolate mixture a firm cake-like texture. It reminded me of frangipane. That egg helps firm it up when baking, I think. I am a big believer in chocolate ganache but this baked filling was so good fresh out of the oven. Warm, and rich, it would go well with ice cream or whipped cream.

Hopefully you all have had a better week than I have. If you find yourself in a big stressful situation like me, just find your center and breathe (my pilates teacher would be proud). And if (when) that fails, bake this tart. And raise a slice up to Ralph Waldo Emerson who couldn’t have come up with a better quote.

Baked Chocolate Tart
From Carole Bloom’s The Essential Baker

Ingredients:

For the pastry dough:
1 ¼ cups all purpose flour
½ cup confectioner’s sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
4 ounces (8 tablespoons, 1 stick) unsalted butter, chilled
1 extra large egg yolk, at room temperature
½ teaspoon vanilla extract

For the filling:
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped ( I used a mix of dark and semi-sweet chocolate)
1 ½ cups heavy whipping cream
¼ cup granulated sugar
1 extra large egg at room temperature

Directions:

To make the pastry dough:
In the work bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade, combine the flour, sugar, and salt. Pulse briefly to blend. Cut the butter into small pieces and add to the flour mixture. Pulse until the butter is cut into very tiny pieces, about 30 seconds. The texture should be sandy with very tiny lumps throughout.
Using a fork, lightly beat the egg yolk with the vanilla in a small bowl. With the food processor running, pour the egg yolk and vanilla mixture through the feed tube. Process the dough until the mixture wraps itself around the blade, about 1 minute.
Turn the pastry dough onto a large piece of plastic wrap. Shape into a flat disk and wrap tightly in a double layer of plastic wrap. Chill in the refrigerator until firm before using, at least two hours. Chilling the dough relaxes the gluten in the flour so it won’t be too elastic and will roll out easily. It also firms up the butter in the dough so it will need less flour when rolled out. If the dough is too firm it will splinter and break when rolled out. Let it stand at room temperature for 10 to 15 minutes before rolling to become more pliable.
Center a rack in the oven and preheat it to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
On a smooth, flat surface, roll out the pastry dough between sheets of lightly floured waxed or parchment paper to a large circle about 11 inches in diameter. To tell if the dough will fir the tart pan, hold the pan above the dough. If there are about 2 inches of dough that protrude beyond the sides of the pan, it will fit.
Carefully peel the paper off the top of the dough and brush off any excess flour. Loosely roll the pastry dough around the rolling pin without the bottom piece of paper. Place the tart pan directly underneath the rolling pin and carefully unroll the pastry dough into the tart pan. The tart dough is delicate and needs to be handled gently. Rolling it around the rolling pin and unrolling into the tart pan is an easy way to get the dough into the pan.
Gently light up the sides and ease the pastry dough into the bottom and sides of the tart pan. Trim off the excess pastry dough at the top of the pan. Transfer the tart pan to the baking sheet and chill in the freezer for at least 15 minutes.
Line the pastry shell with a large piece of aluminum foil that fits well against the bottom and sides. Fill with pie weights or a mixture of rice and beans. Bake for 10 minutes, then remove the foil and weights. If the bottom of the pastry shell puffs up, gently pierce it in several places with a fork or a sharp knife to release the air. Bake another 12 to 14 minutes, until light golden and set. Remove the pan from the oven.

To make the filling:
Lower the oven heat to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Place the chopped chocolate and cream in the top of a double broiler over hot water. Stir often with a rubber spatula to help melt evenly. Remove the top of the double boiler and wipe the bottom and sides very dry.
Use a while or rubber spatula to stir sugar an egg together in a large bowl. Pour the melted chocolate mixture into the egg mixture and stir together until very smooth.

To make the tart:
Pour the filling into the pre-baked tart shell. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes until the tart looks et and a cake tester inserted 2 inches in from the outside edge comes out clean.
Remove the pan from the oven and cook on a rack.
Remove the sides of the tart pan before serving. Serve the tart at room temperature.
Store the tart, loosely covered with wax paper and then tightly wrapped with aluminum foil, in the refrigerator up to 3 days.

Yields 12 to 14 serving.