Two weeks of nonstop work, personal frustrations and a roaring case of insomnia found me on the couch, Saturday morning, looking at apartments in California. My lease renewal came in the mail last week, which is one of the most loved and hated documents a New Yorker can get because one, it makes you think about the future and two, it forces you to take a hard look at your current situation. Yes, I was tired, angry, hungover but mainly, I was just over it. I give up, you win New York. Which is funny because I just I told someone over happy hour a few weeks ago that I wasn’t ready to leave New York, when he asked if I was moving back to California. That just goes to show you my mental state. One foot in, one foot out. I needed a dealbreaker, someone to just make this decision for me.
Turns out, the universe heard my nonstop whining. Ask and you shall receive.
Late Saturday night/Sunday morning while celebrating my friend Usha’s upcoming wedding, I had one of those classic New York City nights that made me remember why I love this city so much. After many glasses of champagne (damn you, DryBar and your free champagne) and so many plates of food, we found ourselves at Le Bain, which I ensure you, I never go to because of two reasons: there is always a line and it’s in the Meatpacking District aka a No-Amanda-Zone. However, this night was not like the others. Nope, it was like the universe decided to change its tune and remind me, “Hey! You like New York. You can’t move.” I get it, I get it. Thanks universe for making my decision just a little harder.
It was one of those classic New York moments where you kinda want to stop everything and be like, hold the phone, is this real? Do you ever have moments like that? Where you aren’t convinced that this is happening but sure enough, you are here and there is no movie script?
I was sitting outside at the Top of the Standard, taking in the view, soaking up the attention of a really cute Canadian discussing all the best parts about living in the city. He was kind, sexy and had a smile that killed. So basically, all good things, right? Anyways, he told me that this was the first time he’d been in the city and that it blew his mind, literally. He couldn’t wrap his head around how one could stay sane, how one could stay in a city with such a crazy vibrating pulse. I told him that in the 3 years since I’ve moved here, I’ve experienced the craziest, the saddest, the most rewarding moments of my life. And that I’ve never been happier. The moment the words left my mouth, I knew they were true. It’s not always sunny skies, it’s not always easy. And I don’t make this city to be a happy-go-lucky place where all dreams come true, because, let’s be real, that’s just what the movies and silly sitcoms want you to believe. I think after I expressed my love for New York, a face-splitting grin must have shown up on my face because he started laughing and grabbed my hand, saying that the city fit me, that I worked well here. While that situation is TBD, I do know is that I’m not done with New York.
You hear that, universe? IT AIN’T OVER.